RIP Kika who's Dis
Maybe I’m just trying too hard to ✨manifest✨ Reputation (TV), or maybe it’s just a matter of shedding skin and leaving 2024 behind. The Year of the Dragon, the year of my Chinese zodiac sign, and once again—like 2012—a hard fucking year, with all the trials and tribulations to show for it.
I know I died last year. A part of me, a part that was created and molded by trauma, remains in 2024. My last shed of skin, a person I grew up to be in order to appease the world. A person who was so far from her authentic self that it’s no wonder last year was such a slap in the face—a final attempt by my soul, my higher self, to say, Snap out of it! ENOUGH!
The thing is, I no longer see hard times in a scary way. Every trial, every obstacle, and every pain just showed me that I’m stronger and that I can overcome everything. And last year, as much as it was full of pain—some spoken, others kept to myself—it made me finally say, You know what? Screw this shit! I’m choosing myself, and I will always choose myself.
Yes, there are people who still try to make me feel ashamed for choosing myself or guilt-trip me just because I’m no longer putting the world before me. But that’s the funny part: you can only change the world if you accept yourself, unconditionally. If you dive deep into your shadows and say, I see you. I understand why you exist, but I no longer choose to listen to you. It’s about looking at the broken parts and realizing there was nothing to feel ashamed about or nothing that needed “fixing.” To be whole, one must accept both the light and the darkness. The stronger the light, the deeper the darkness. As above, so below.
So yes, I dove deep and understood that the only limit is the one I create for myself and the one I allow myself to believe in. We are truly infinite—a part of the cosmos, a part of creation, and all connected. So I no longer try to fit into places that don’t fit me. I don’t want to prove myself to anyone anymore because I am who I am, and that is more than enough. I think that’s the only thing we need to remind ourselves and others.
That said, one of the biggest lessons last year was this: as much as you want to help people, at the end of the day, they need to want to help themselves. Otherwise, you’ll be carrying a weight that doesn’t belong to you, especially when some people just like to complain but do nothing about their circumstances. Yes, we can listen, but we don’t need to carry their burdens.
So maybe, Kika Who’s Dis is left in 2024—still online in case it’s useful for anyone, but no longer a part of me. I still care deeply about cybersecurity and privacy, but I no longer feel the need to convince people or share all my concerns about healthy habits or other topics with people in my life if they didn’t ask about it.
So, keeping this without a structure so I can let it be what it is at each moment without the need to define it. I will write when I feel like it and the topics may change from time to time.
Have a great week! 💜
Francisca